So A Funny Thing Happened On The Weekend
by Acepilot6
Summary: No.37 in the Road series. On a lighter note...Phil's made good with Kimi. Now he's just got to get her parents to forgive him. Hope you enjoy. Please review.


**So A Funny Thing Happened On The Weekend  
**Acepilot

AN - No.37 in the Road series. Well, this was a long time coming. This was one of the earliest ideas for a Road series fic I had, and only now have I finally hammered it out onto paper. I guess you could see this as the conclusion of the saga of Tommy and Lil's wedding. We're dealing with the aftermath. Phil and Kimi have to go tell the Finsters that they're losing they're only daughter. Wouldn't want to be in Phil's shoes? Trust me, it gets even worse...

Disclaimer - The cast of AGU belongs to KlaskyCsupo.

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"We've got to go in sooner or later."'

"Later works," I assure her, my seatbelt still firmly in place, hands still on the steering wheel, keys still in the ignition.

It's been four days since I last really slept. I've had naps, just short ones to make sure I don't crash the car. But every minute I could afford to be awake, I have been. From the moment that Lil called and said "We're getting married", I've been on the biggest adrenaline rush of my life. And in the aftereffects of that rush, I've convinced this lovely creature to my right to take me back, to marry me. I've attended my sister's wedding, I've walked her down the aisle. I've been a part of one of the most important events in my closest family member and my best friend's lives. And I've had several, very long nights spent with my now fiancé, which have blurred into a beautiful montage of holding her and talking, and love making, and being a couple again. I wouldn't have traded anything in the last couple of days for the world.

But every rush has to end sometime.

So I'm sitting in my car outside her parent's house, red-eyed and razzled with my only consolation being that she looks much the same. Of course, she's still beautiful regardless. I just look tired. And kinda stoned.

"We could come back in a couple of days," I point out to her. Or not, you know. We could just kind of subtly slip them wedding invitations in a couple of years. That'd work really well, actually. Save the whole issue of telling them.

"Or we could do it now," she returns, putting her hand on my arm. "It'll be fine."

"Easy for you to say," I mutter, not moving my hands from the steering wheel. "They love you."

"They love you too," she tells me, her thumb tracing the contours of my knuckles. "They love you because I love you."

"They hate me," I tell her, slumping back further in the seat. "They absolutely despise me. Your dad wants my head on a stick."

"It's not that bad."

I turn to look her straight in the eye. "Do you know how long it's been since I had a cup of coffee at the Java Lava?"

She takes her hand back. "Yeah, I'm kind of sorry about that."

"Kind of." The day is still vivid in my mind. Chaz Finster, the peaceful man who I had always looked upon as a guiding light, a caring, slightly eccentric kind of guy, flinging every piece of crockery in sight at my head. They still tell of the day that it rained saucers and mugs at the Java Lava Coffee House.

I'd just gone in there for a cup of coffee. "Kind of," I repeat.

"It was my fault. I kind of...embellished. But I can fix it, I promise."

I grin. I don't want to, but I do. "You embellished."

"I might have said that you were cheating on me," she admits guiltily, looking down at the dashboard.

"And..."

"And that perhaps you ended it with me, rather than the other way around."

"Ah." I slump back in the seat. "Oh, yeah, I really wanna go in there now."

"Oh, just come on!" She opens her car door, but doesn't get out. "It'll be alright."

"You go in, and tell them, and I'll wait out here. Or maybe I'll go home." I keep staring straight ahead.

"You're really making my parents out to be worse than they are," she mutters under her breath, starting to get riled.

I finally turn and face her. "Can you blame me?"

She glares at me, but I can tell it's not serious. "I can try."

I lean over and kiss her softly on the forehead. "Alright, alright. I'm sorry, Kim." I wrap an arm around her shoulders. "If you want to do this now, we'll do this now."

"Are you sure?"

I let out an exasperated moan and hang my head in my hands. "Oh, for the love of god -"

"Right, come on, let's do it."

I open my door and step outside. The air seems to hang heavy around me, as if disapproving. I cast a quick glare at the sky before turning to face the Finster house.

I let Kimi knock on the door. Is it wrong that a part of me is looking for potential escape routes?

I'm almost happy that Kira's the one to open the door. She's predictable, at least. I know she'll be unhappy with me. You never know with Chazz. At least, not anymore.

"Kimi!" She exclaims, embracing her only daughter with a bright, happy smile on her face. I feel myself smiling at the blatant display of love for parent and child. This might not go so badly after all.

Then she looks over Kimi's shoulder.

"What's he doing here?"

The four, dreaded words. The words I was kind of hoping not to hear. But then, the thought that they'd just kind of accept it all straight off the bat was not one I'd seriously entertained.

"Uh..." Kimi stumbles over her opening. Which is odd. She's been rehearsing under her breath the whole way home, when she hasn't been telling me off for my reluctance to go through with this. "Is Dad home?"

No, please. No. No.

"Yes, he's in the kitchen."

Drat, drat, drat.

Kitchen. Knives. Great. Just great.

Kimi eases her way inside. I go to follow, but Kira starts pulling the door closed behind herself. I manage to barely slip into the house before the door slams on my foot.

Oh, this is such a positive atmosphere.

Kimi made a big deal of reintroducing me to her parents when we got together initially. I thought she was nuts. I mean, they've known me since I was a toddler. Less than, even. So while Kimi stood there with her hand in mine saying, "Mom, Dad, this is Phil, my boyfriend," I kind of took in the surroundings and wondered it those cracks in the ceiling had always been there. Kim hadn't been impressed.

Resisting the urge to limp slightly, I march onwards, hiding behind Kimi not because I'm afraid, but more as a cautionary measure. I mean, there's no sense in having knives thrown if it can be at all avoided. It's not that I'm actually worried about getting hit. Not at all.

As we step into the kitchen, I watch Kimi and Chaz embrace. Despite myself, despite my worry, despite the sheer utter terror coursing through my veins, I smile warmly. She gives off this...warmth, that you just have to be a part of if you're around her. It's impossible to escape. She's so beautiful she seems to make everyone's day that bit better by just being around them. I feel an urge to go over and join in the hug, but I somehow don't think it would be appreciated. So I deicide it would probably be better if I kind of remained as still as possible, not drawing unwanted attention to myself before it was 100 necessary.

"Kimi, it's so good to see you!" he exclaims, and I can see that, depsite the grey hairs, despite the age showing on his face, the man I knew from childhood hasn't changed. Still the same voice, still the same love for his children. I've got to admit that I always did have a certain respect for Chaz. He's a very loving parent and he worked so hard to ensure they have a good future - he ran the Java Lava well into old age to ensure that he had enough money to send both his kids to college. He's the kind of Dad I hope I end up being one day.

Wow, did I just think that?

"Hi, Dad," she manages while attempting not to be suffocated by her father's loving embrace. "It's good to see you and Mom, too."

He looks her up and down. "Wow, you look so grown up."

"I look like I haven't slept in four days," she corrects him.

"Maybe that's it," he concedes...and then he spots me doing apparently not a good enough job of blending in with the environment. But thankfully, he doesn't explode at me. He doesn't throw things at me. He just glares coldly and says, "Phil."

I nod in acknowledgement and try not to grin sheepishly.

"Mom, Dad, I have some news," Kimi announces.

Her father pales. Her mother looks like she knows what it is.

I wonder if leaving the room would be a good idea at this point.

She reaches behind her and grabs my hand. Partly against my will I feel myself being dragged forward to stand next to her. I'm trying desperately not to hyperventilate.

"Phil and I are getting married."

The reaction is better than I had expected, but worse than I had hoped for. A part of me thought it might have been nice if they'd at least _looked_ like they approved.

Kira wrings her hands. Chaz adopts an absent kind of look in his eyes. He simply mutters, "Oh."

The Phil in my mind says, 'Alright, we've done this, let's go,' and drags Kimi forcibly out of the house before her parents kill me.

But in real life I end up standing beside my fiance', like a good boy.

"Are you -" Kira begins, and then cuts herself off. She seems to revise what she's about to say, and tries again. "Are you sure you're not too...young?"

Irresponsible?

Kimi nods. "I'm sure. I know this is right."

She doesn't say anything, but Kira has no problem making her feelings felt concerning that statement.

I've got to admit that I've always had problems with Kira. We've just never really gotten along. She's a bit prim and proper and I guess my natural tendencies towards having a bit of fun have never quite sat right with her. When I first started dating Kimi she...well, she never said that she thought it was a bad idea, but she never really _approved_, either, which was quite frustrating - or it would have been, if I'd been mature enough to care.

But I guess it's no real surprise that this is magnitudes worse.

Kira left the room.

Kimi's eyes suddenly became torn between the doorway that her mother had just left through, me, and her father. Watching her gaze switch quickly became a dizzying exercise.

Until, finally, it lingered over the doorway.

Contrary to popular belief, I'm not stupid.

Oh no. She wouldn't.

She pats me on the shoulder and follows her mother.

Oh yes she would.

And suddenly I'm left alone with Chaz Finster.

Where Kira was always kind of precise Chaz was a bit more...loose. Well, in a relative sense, anyway. I don't think anyone's going to be accusing Chaz Finster of being a wild man any time soon. But I could always deal with Chaz. He sort of appreciated the fact that I was just a kid and that I was always up for a good time. Can't say he always approved, but he never made me feel guilty about it.

Of course, I blew any sense of camaraderie I had with him when his daughter and I broke up. The man is fiercely loyal to his family.

Thus the projectiles at Java Lava.

Can you understand here why I'm nervous?

"Sit, Phil," he suggests.

"No, I'm fine," I tell him.

"Sit."

I sit. Maybe it wasn't so much a suggestion as a prediction.

What's a good opener? 'Look, I can explain?' No, that makes me sound guilty about it. What about 'I know this must come as a bit of a shock'.

No, that's just plain stupid.

"I'm sorry about last time."

I think I said that one out loud.

Chaz looks me in the eyes and I have an overwhelming urge to flinch. I try very hard not to. "Pardon, Phil?"

The cold way in which he says my name sends shivers down my spine. You know, one day, I hope Chuckie brings home a girl they don't like, so that I can commiserate with someone.

Well, I'm knee-deep in it now. Might as well go all the way with this.

"I'm sorry that things went wrong last time," I tell him, checking over every word in my head. "I...I didn't take as good care of her as I should have."

Chaz just nods.

"I'm going to do better this time," I tell him. "I...I learnt a lot over the last year."

Yeah, that sounds good.

"Like what?" Chaz asks, sounding genuinely curious.

Drat. He wasn't meant to ask that. "Well...like that I shouldn't have taken her for granted," I tell him. "I shouldn't have just assumed she'd be there. She's a great girl and I wasn't as dedicated as I should have been."

"I can't believe she took you back after you dumped her for another girl," Chaz says quite matter-of-factly. "What happened to her, anyway?"

My mind is working at a hundred miles per hour but I'm eerily aware that might even be too slow. "Uh...well..."

Now, the dilemma. Do I spin some elaborate story about how I cheated on Kimi, with a girl named...Anna? Good a name as any. And maybe she moved away. No, that's not nearly dramatic enough. Maybe she could have discovered that I was holding such a torch for Kimi that she opened my eyes to my mistake and bowed out.

Okay, not good, but after four days without sleep let's see anyone else do better.

"I think you need to ask Kimi about that," I say.

Unsurprisingly, he doesn't like that at all. "Why? Does she tell it better than you?"

She's the only one who tells it at all. "Well...I..."

At which point I'm rescued by my fiance' - little spine tingle at that thought - who steps into the room while her mother stands uncertainly in the doorway. "What do I tell better?" she asks, stepping up behind me and draping her hands over my shoulders.

"The story about my imaginary girlfriend," I say, loudly, plainly. Chaz raises an eyebrow. Kira chuckles. Glad to know someone's feeling a funny side to this.

Kimi goes bright red and I'm tempted to grin myself, but I really don't want to find myself in the doghouse after just four days of being engaged to her. "Yeah, about that...I kind of made it up."

Chaz looks shocked. Kira is bracing herself against the doorjamb. Yeah, sure, _now _she develops a sense of humour.

"You made it up?" Chaz asks, slightly disbelievingly.

Kimi sighs. "Dad, Mom, I'm sorry about that," she admits. "I was...angry, and confused. I didn't mean to...go so far with it."

Chaz looks like a stunned mullet. His gaze slips between me and Kimi, as if he's trying to work out when everyone is going to spring the great, elaborate practical candid-camera style joke on him.

It doesn't come. He just exhales very, very slowly. "Um...look, Phil...I'm sor-"

"Don't be," I tell him. "I deserved it all."

Chaz looks at me and kind of nods. "Yes. I guess you did. Thank you for being enough of a man to admit it."

I'm really not sure what to say to that, so I don't say anything.

He shifts his focus back to Kimi. "Kimi, sweetheart..." he swallows, hard. "I can't honestly say this was everything I hoped for you. But...I always liked to think we raised you and your brother to know what was best for you." He looks her in the eyes, pleadingly, hopefully. "Is this what you think is best for you?"

She nods. "It is, Dad. I..." she turns to me and I could swear, for just a moment, that I can see a tear in the corner of her eye. "I love him. And he loves me." She swivels her head back to Chaz. "I...I hope you change your mind, someday."

Chaz nods and finally does manage to tear up. "Maybe sooner than you expect," he says. "Did you two want to stay for coffee?"

I was still finding a polite way to say no when Kimi cut in on my thoughts. "We would, Dad, but we're a bit tired...we were kind of going to head back to Phil's place and get some sleep."

Chaz flinches at that thought but nods. "If you think so."

After the contractually obligated hugs and kisses (for Kimi, I just kind of lurk in the background. Chaz does, however, shake my hand, and Kira kisses me on the cheek. It's actually quite a scary thing to have happen, your future-mother-in-law kissing you on the cheek...but that's a story for another time...), we manage to escape the house with no further incident.

I grin at Kimi over the car roof. "You have no idea how glad I am we're finally going to sleep," I tell her. "I think I could crash for about a week if I didn't want to spend time with you."

"We're not going to sleep yet," she says to me.

My eyes widen and my grin expands.

"And get those dirty thoughts out of your head," she tells me. "We've got to go see your parents."

"Oh!" I wail. "Why! Why can't I just enjoy having the most beautiful girl in the world in my bed again?"

She glares at me playfully. "Nice try, Mister," she says. "Come on, we're going to have to see them sooner or later."

I stick my tongue out at her as we finally climb into the car. "Oh well, at least they'll be easier."

"Says you," she tells me.

I chuckle. "My parents love you. You're their perfect idea of a daughter-in-law. They thought I was nuts for not chasing after you sooner."

"You were," she points out.

"Quiet you," I say as we start driving away. "Oh well. If they get angry, I've got the perfect diversion."

"Which is?" she asks.

I put a slight whine into my voice. "'But Tommy and Lil eloped on the weekend!' Oh, what? Alright, let's see _you _do better."

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